


As the story unfolds over time

by ArbuscularMycorrhizal



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Caleb Widogast's Backstory, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, The mighty nein dealing with Yussa, Yussa dealing with the mighty nein
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-14 20:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18059771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArbuscularMycorrhizal/pseuds/ArbuscularMycorrhizal
Summary: Caleb Widogast's master degree is more of group effort and Dr. Yussa Errenis finds himself somehow involved.orThe Might Nein bully a Professor into also caring for their friend.Gen





	1. Learning that we had it all wrong

Yussa Errenis, doctor of Transmutation, brilliant researcher, and well known academic of the esteemed University of Nicodranas, was being stood up. Well, maybe not yet. But his 4:30 appointment was late. Ten minutes late and Dr. Yussa Errenis did not like being kept waiting. Especially when it was a last minute request before semester started. Something about a therapy animal and a signature for one of his new advisees. Yussa hadn’t read the entire long and overly polite email before replying that yes that would be fine and the student could stop by his office Friday for the paperwork. He deeply regretted making it the last appointment of the week because now he was stuck waiting for some tardy student to get their act together so he could leave.

Wentworth had texted asking when Yussa would be home and what he was thinking for dinner. And Yussa just wanted to go home and have a nice quiet evening with his partner before the hecticness of the school year started. One last weekend of quiet. But no, he was stuck in his stuffy office scrolling through garbage news articles because he didn’t actually want to look at his email and get actual work done.

There was a knock on his open office door. Finally. Yussa kept his eyes on his computer screen to give the illusion of importance. Let the student squirm. Yussa could have been halfway home to a nice dinner already.

“You’re late Mr.Widogast...” Yussa trailed off as he looked up.

This was probably not Caleb Widogast.

An intense looking woman stood in the doorway. Nothing about her screamed the serious polite masters student of the email. The shaved sides of her head, the oversized rugby sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. The look of an athlete. Not an academic. Probably. Her eyes were very sharp.

“Sup.” She didn’t look particularly impressed with his illusion of importance. Yussa managed a polite nod which was something, considering.

“I’m here to get some signatures for _Mr.Widogast_.”  She mimicked his tone. Eyes not leaving his face. Intense look not leaving hers. This was ridiculous. Yussa had been a professor longer than this woman had been alive. But he still felt like she was staring right through him.

Yussa cleared his throat and gathered himself a bit.

“And Mr.Widogast is where exactly?” He asked. It was nearly fifteen minutes past the appointment time. He had some room to be peeved. The woman didn’t break eye contact. He wasn’t actually sure he had seen her blink this entire time.

“Third floor girl’s bathroom breathing through a panic attack.” Well, Yussa was beginning to feel like an ass. The woman slapped a folder down on his desk, nearly knocking over a ink pot. “Sorry I’m late. Had to wait for Nott to get there and take over.”

Yussa didn’t know who Nott was. Or who this lady was. He hadn’t even met Caleb Widogast yet. But it was clear the man had some good friends. Yussa pulled the folder towards him and flipped it open. It was less of a request and more of a statement of intentions. The campus accessibility office  and medical doctor had already cleared it and his signature was more of a formality. This was just a heads up for Yussa. He looked over the papers quickly signing and initialling where needed, aware of the woman’s eyes on him. The animal in question was a Fae Familiar, there wouldn’t even be the question of keeping the animal under control or student allergies. This wasn’t a big deal. Certainly not worth a panic attack. He half wanted to ask if Mr. Widogast would be able to handle the academic pressures of the year. But as he glanced up and saw the way the woman was watching him sign the papers with a look of relief and determination in her eyes, he decided not to ask. The question would not be well received. He finished with the last paper and slid the folder back to the woman.

“Thanks.” The way she said it implied a very _very_ small amount of manners.

“Not a problem Ms.-?”

“Beauregard. Lionett.” She bit off the last name like it left an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

“A pleasure Ms. Lionett.” Neither of them quite believed that. “And please wish Mr. Widogast a pleasant weekend. I look forward to working with him.”

The woman had been moving to the door, folder tucked under her arm, at his words she stopped and turned back to look at him. Any softness in her eyes in the form of relief was gone. It was replaced by a sharp burn that came from somewhere deep. She spoke, voice low.

“This is a statement.” Not a threat. “Caleb’s last advisor was deeply fucked up. He did some deeply fucked up things. We’re not going to let that happen again.”

Yussa didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t know who that ‘we’ implied. But he didn’t doubt Beauregard Lionett’s words. He nodded. She nodded back and turned towards the door.

“Good. And call me Beau.”

She was gone. Yussa sat in the suddenly very loud silence of his office. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He doubted that would be the last time he saw Beauregard. He shook his head and began to pack up his briefcase. It was friday. He wanted to go home and have dinner with Wentworth. One last weekend of quiet before the semester started.

 

Whatever doubts Yussa had over Caleb Widogast’s capabilities were fortunately proven wrong the first few weeks of classes. Mr. Widogast turned out to be a quiet and capable young man. He asked intelligent questions during the weekly seminar and the work he turned in was always of high quality. The amount of requested lab time spoke of an excellent work ethic. The man’s TAing abilities were also encouraging. No lab incidents, impressive for a 100 level class full of over confident freshmen. Yussa observed him staying well past his appointed time after class to answer questions and assist with undergrad homework. The passion was easy to see as the man spoke on what was clearly his favorite topic. Well, second favorite. The man’s cat, Frumpkin the service familiar, took that honor. The large orange cat quickly became a favorite fixture in the Transmutation department.

Despite all that it wasn’t hard to miss what lay under the hard work and polite smile. The haunted look that always just under the surface. The flinches at loud noises. The complete lack of eye contact with Yussa. He had seen the man engaged in animated conversation before with others. But what little interaction Yussa had with him was always stilted. Mr. Widogast’s voice, always quiet, would stutter and often leave the man completely. Yussa would give him time and professional indifference. Which seemed to help. Still Yussa couldn’t help but notice the difference in body language. Even Widogast’s cat, usually relaxed and friendly, would become alert whenever Yussa was in the room. Feline eyes watching his every move.

Two weeks into the semester Yussa returned from a lunch appointment to find a blue teifling sitting outside his office in one of the hall chairs. Her legs were too short to reach the ground and she was swinging them enthusiastically. She wasn’t one in any of his classes. Yussa would have remembered her. Maybe a student looking to transfer early in the semester. She noticed him approaching and closed the thick textbook she had been reading before he arrived. Not before Yussa could see the contents though. It was a high level clerical text, with copious amounts of anatomically correct dicks drawn in the margins. She crammed it in her oversized pink backpack. She bounced to her feet with a grin.

“Are you Dr. Errenis? Beau said this was your office.” The mention of that name gave Yussa pause but he powered through.

“Yes. And you are?” The teifling smiled larger and shook his hand with a much stronger grip than he expected from such a small being.

“Hi, I’m Jester. I’m another of Caleb’s friends.”

Ah.

“I just wanted to drop by and say hello. And,” she dropped his hand to turn back to her bag, Yussa resisted the urge to shake out his fingers. “I wanted to give you this.”

She handed over a slip of paper. It had a list of names and phone numbers written on it. Along the top, in neat glittery handwriting, were the words “ _Caleb Widogast ICE contact list”._ Yussa stared at it, unsure of what to do.

“I couldn’t get much out of Caleb but Beau and Nott said you seemed like a good guy. I’ve been watching you and I think you seem like a good guy too.”

“Thank you?” Yussa was absolutely sure he had never seen this person before in his life. He had no idea how she had been watching him. She was still talking.

“I was just thinking since you’re Caleb’s advisor and all you’ll be seeing a whole lot of him this year and sometimes Caleb’s brain isn’t so great so if something goes wrong or he has a really really bad day you can give one of us a call.”

She hadn’t taken a breath the whole time she spoke and was now staring at him. Expectantly.

“I- yes?”  Yussa wasn’t sure how to respond but that seemed to be the right one. Jester’s smile was even brighter.

“Great! Oh, also I made some cookies, they’re super good. Would you like some?”

Yussa found himself in his office a few minutes later with a tupperware of cinnamon and chocolate cookies in his hands and for some reason glitter up one sleeve. He sat down behind his desk feeling something like shellshock. He looked at the note in his hand. He made to open his drawer and then thought better of it. He pulled out his phone to take a picture before taping the note to the inside of his desk. He stared at it for a moment longer before closing his drawer. He cracked open the tupperware and carefully selected a cookie. Giving it a careful smell Yussa took a careful bite. He raised an eyebrow. They were indeed ‘super good’.

 

There were a lot of strange things about Caleb Widogast. Yussa wasn’t judging, merely observing. There was the cat. Always present, not unwelcome. There was baggy coat and long sleeves no matter the weather. The little collection of trinkets that accumulate on the man’s full but uncluttered desk every week tucked into the corner of the grad student office. Buttons, pretty rocks, the occasional screw or bolt, a pretty ribbon, tiny paper cranes made out of gum wrappers. Every monday the collection would start and by friday afternoon would be gone. There was also the rotating collection of terrible cat print shirts and ties with little paw prints on them. Yussa was fairly certain Widogast did not buy these for himself. Given the opportunity the man would likely wear the same shade of brown for every article of clothing he owned. Yussa would sometimes look across the lecture hall and see little flowers braided in to the man’s shaggy hair.

However, the strangest thing about Caleb Widogast by far, was the man’s friends.

The first face to face, one on one meeting took place three weeks into the semester. Yussa required his advisees to check in on their research project fairly frequently. Widogast chose the latest possible appointment for the first round of check-ins. Usually that implied a procrastinator but this was Widogast. 

Yussa was just returning to his office after a far too long faculty meeting when he once again found someone waiting outside his office. Not Jester, the blue teifling, this time but a firbolg. Extremely tall, extremely gangly, with a extremely pink mohawk. Yussa got a slow smile as he approached.

“If you’re here to discuss classwork then I’m afraid you’ll have to wait. I have an appointment in five minutes.” Yussa was absolutely positive this firbolg was not in any of his classes and it was too late to transfer.

“Oh I know. Don’t worry, I’m just here.”

Okay then, Yussa didn’t have a remark for that so he gave the impossibly calm firbolg a polite nod and made to unlock the door. He was just about to enter his office when the low voice stopped him.

“He probably won’t ask, but Caleb would greatly appreciate it if you left the door open.”

Okay then.

Yussa left the door propped open.

Widogast’s arrival was preceded by a low one sided conversation from the hall and then a very timid knock on the door. The man looked pale, the hand gripping the strap of his satchel white knuckled and shaking. Frumpkin was draped over Widogast’s shoulders. The cat met his eyes, the man did not.

“Afternoon, Mr.Widogast.” Yussa kept his voice light and professional. He got a quick nervous nod in return.

The meeting ran long. Widogast had a lot to talk about and was slow to do so. His accent was thicker than usual, he got stuck and often stuttered over words. It wasn’t all bad though. The man’s work was interesting and well thought out. It ended up being more of a strained conversation than an opportunity for advice. Yussa still had some comments however.

“Would you like something to write these notes down on Mr.Widogast?” Most of his students brought notebooks and would write furiously during these sessions. But Widogast’s hands had disappeared into pockets the moment the man had taken a seat.

“Ah, n-no. Thank you. I-” the man glanced up for just a moment, blue eyes meeting Yussa's. And then Widogast was staring at the corner of the desk again. He tapped his temple with a shaky hand. “I have a photographic memory.”

Alright then, Yussa raised his eyebrows. No need for notes.

It was nearly dark when the meeting finished up. Widogast stood stiffly and stammered out a goodbye before disappearing out the door. Yussa let the man have a few minutes headstart. He spent some time checking email and unnecessarily tidying his desk. Satisfied that he wouldn’t run into Widogast on the elevator Yussa packed up his bag and exited his office. He turned to lock the door behind him and started badly.

The firbolg was still there. Sitting, sipping on a steaming cup of tea and flipping through what looked like a seed catalogue. He gave Yussa that same slow calm smile as before.

“That sounded productive in there.”

“Ah, yes. Mr.Widogast is very bright.”

“Good, good. Nott is always saying the same thing. Would you like a cup?” The firbolg raised his mug. Yussa could smell a delicious floral smell wafting through the air.

“No. Thank you though, I must be getting home.”

“Of course, I hope you have a pleasant evening.”

“You as well Mr.?”

“Clay, Caduceus Clay. And one last thing before I forget Dr.Errenis.” The firbolg pulled something out of his bag standing as he did so and _loomed_ over Yussa. “Jester asked me to pass these on to you. And that she would appreciate it if you would return the first tupperware as well.”

Yussa took the offered container of cookies.

“I will be sure to do that. Have a good evening Mr.Clay”

“You as well.”

Yussa looked back just before he turned the corner to see that the firbolg had settled back in his chair and was sipping at his tea. Just as relaxed as before. Yussa shook his head and tucked the cookies into his bag. He’d drop the tupperware on Widogast’s desk tomorrow when the man was running his intro lab session.

 

Days go by and Widogast continues to produce excellent work and Yussa continues to keep an eye on him. Not for any reason other than the man seemed to be surrounded by a multitude of questions and very strange folk.

Yussa manages to resist his curiosity for three weeks. Wentworth gets sick of the ‘enigma of Caleb Widogast’ and tells Yussa to either ask the man himself for his story or stop being nosy.

Yussa does neither and puts in a request to see Widogast previous coursework. He knows the man transferred to NU but not from where.

He gets an automatic email response stating that the records are paper copy only and that if Yussa wants to access them it will have to be in person at the CB archives. That made Yussa frown, usually student records aren’t housed in the Cobalt Branch Archives, but who was he to question the paper bureaucracy of the University. Probably a filing error caught by nobody but the computer.

That would be fine he would stop by tomorrow during lunch.

As he stepped into the building the next day he tells himself, as he always does, that he should spend more time in the archive. It’s beautiful architecture, the airy shelves, and calm atmosphere. He takes his time following the signs for the small clerk's office. He stepped into the slightly dusty room and closed the door behind. He turned to the clerk and froze.

Beauregard Lionett eyed him like a hawk might the moment before it dives. She wore the robes that all monks of the Cobalt Soul wore while in the archives. Her hand was resting on a thin folder on the desk. She looked like she had been waiting for him to step through the door. Yussa forced himself to walk up to the desk. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was just requesting information on one students. Information that was available to him as a member of the staff.

“I’m here to request access to a file…” Yussa trailed off as Beau slid the folder forward in one sharp motion without taking her eyes off of him. It was years of maintaining composure that kept his hands from shaking slightly as he picked it up off the desk. Only just.

“Thank you.” Yussa’s words fell flat and dead into the carpet. He can feel her watching him as he slowly opens the folder.

He is met with a page of black bars covering text. Nearly everything is blacked out. A stamp across the top of the page reads ‘CONTENT CENSORED FOR STUDENT SAFETY’.

There was Widogast’s name and date of birth. No place of birth. No family listed. No personal history except his date of enrollment at NU. Yussa turned the page to look at transcripts and stared down at a page of black. There’s the name of the school, Soltryce, but nothing else. No courses, no grades, no dates. Nothing but black.

Yussa is so engrossed in looking for any sort of clue that he forgets that Beauregard is watching. He misses the sound of the door opening and shutting behind him.

“Hey Beau, I-” It’s a deep voice behind him. “Is this?”

“Yeah.”

Yussa looks up to see a tall half-orc. The same half-orc that he had frequently seen with Widogast before. Sometimes being tutored by Widogast or having a discussion, often just eating lunch and chatting. He had a good foot on Yussa and walked with a controlled confidence that Yussa certainly did not have at that age.

“Dr.Errenis, pleasure to make your acquaintance. The name’s Fjord.” He offered Yussa a hand to shake and Yussa set down the folder to do so.

“A pleasure.”

Fjord looked calm and polite but Yussa couldn’t help but notice he now had a half-orc between him and the door and an angry monk on the other side. Fjord spoke.

“Hope you’re having a nice afternoon, the weather’s been lovely lately.” His voice was pleasant but that was only the thinnest front between his outward presentation and the steel behind his eyes. “We couldn't help but notice your interest in our friend Caleb. Understandable really, you are his advisor after all.”

Beauregard shifts behind Yussa, pulling the folder back across the desk towards her. Fjord’s eyes flick to her for the briefest of instances.

“Now, we understand curiosity. You’re welcome to keep digging deeper. We can’t stop you.”

Beauregard made a noise of either disbelief or malcontent in the back of her throat. Fjord continued speaking.

“We won’t stop you. But we can ask you to please respect our friend’s privacy. It’s taken him a lot to where he is now and we’d all like for him to see it through.”

The implications that they were capable of stopping Yussa and that Yussa was capable of derailing a brilliant student’s academic career hung heavy in the air.

“Is,” Yussa paused to clear his throat, “is Mr.Widogast okay?” The question joins the implications.

“No” Beauregard says at the same time Fjord speaks.

“He’s getting there.”

The two look at each other and Beauregard speaks before Fjord can offer any platitudes.

“He’s not okay. Not yet. And I’m not going to let some nosy professor drag up a bunch of shit the Caleb shouldn’t have to deal with right now.”

“Beau.” The half-orc’s voice held something like a warning. Beauregard stopped herself from saying something else and takes a breath. She fixed Yussa with the glare that makes him feel like she can see right through him. She holds up the slim folder like a challenge.

“Do you want me to make you a fucking copy?”

“Beau.” This time the half-orc sounds more resigned.

Yussa can’t help but clear his throat again.

“No, um. I am satisfied.” Fjord looks relieved. Beauregard does not look convinced. “I apologize.”

For what exactly Yussa can’t find the words for in the moment. After the fierce display of emotion and protectiveness any offering Yussa might have had would just sound hollow. He gives both of them a short bow and leaves the stuffy office.

 

Caleb Widogast is out sick the next two days and Yussa feels like he broke the fragile trust he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Wentworth says it’s entirely his fault and in correct in saying so.

On the second day there’s a knock on his office door. He looked up from where he wasn’t getting any work done.

“Enter.” He called glancing at his calendar. He’s pretty sure he didn’t have any meetings today.

A person steps into his office and makes the doorway look small. The wild hair and mismatched eyes. The dark makeup and the tattoo painted down her chin. The rugby sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off, showing arms that could definitely rip the door off its hinges if so inclined. Mismatched eyes met his. Yussa knew he was a powerful mage. He lived the life to prove it. But magic is only good if you’re fast enough to cast it. And this was one of the most intimidating individuals Yussa had ever met. She brought a pressure into the room that reminded Yussa of a storm too close on the horizon. He felt himself instinctively reaching for the arcane focus he kept in his pocket.

The woman took two steps forward and dropped a large stack of graded lab reports in front of him. He recognized the scratchy writing filling in the margins with neat notes and corrections.

“Caleb asked me to drop them by. He said the students would need them to study for midterms.”

“Is Mr.Widogast alright-” Yussa looked up to see the office empty and the woman gone.


	2. Unashamed, because we've been learning all along

It took over a month to get back to some semblance of the shallow trust they had been at before Yussa had gone snooping. Widogast still wouldn’t look him in the eye. Conversations that could have been quick things in the hallway or in his office were done over email. Frumpkin would sometime bristle if he got close without warning. And Widogast would without fail, freeze what he was doing. Yussa didn’t pry any further. But he didn’t stop watching either. 

Maybe it was the fast approaching finals. Everyone seemed to have a frantic forming energy around them. But Widogast in particular seemed to be curling in on himself. The shadow’s under the man’s eyes deepened. His shoulders more hunched. The man’s work didn’t suffer but Yussa would sometimes catch him swaying after the man stood to fast at the end of a class. Eyes distant. Face pale.

The man wasn’t alone however. Yussa would see him getting dragged out of the cramped graduate office around lunch time by Jester or Beauregard. Caduceus Clay would show up with Widogast to lectures occasionally and seemed content to wait outside. Always greeting the man with that slow smile after. Fjord, he was certain, was not a transmutation student. Evocations likely. But there was a marked increase in the half-orc’s presence in the transmutation building. Fjord would always smile politely as he saw Yussa in the halls. Yussa could always feel those yellow eyes watching him once they’d passed. 

He saw the pale woman on campus once and it was clear she had seen him first. Arms crossed, waiting outside the research building. She didn’t acknowledge him in anyway than continuing to stare. Yussa went around the building, using an entrance further away from her, and felt silly for it.

Even when he was entirely alone there was something like a sensation of being watched. None of his sensing spells came back with anything so Yussa put it down to the stress of the semester. He was too busy to be worrying. 

 

Widogast sent Yussa a request for a lab observer two weeks before finals. It was inevitable. University safety guidelines required any experimental spells be overseen by a mage of the appropriate level. Widogast was a student of transmutation. Yussa was the only individual in the department with enough experience to observe Widogast’s high complexity work. Widogast needed the experiment to proceed with his thesis. And he needed Yussa to be there for him to do the experiment. Yussa approved it along with the requests of his several other advisees scattered throughout the week. Widogast had picked the last possible block as always. 

 

As Yussa approached the lab Friday evening, he was surprised to see only Widogast standing in the hall with Frumpkin draped over narrow shoulders. No Jester, or Caduceus. Beauregard and Fjord nowhere in sight. Perhaps they were all just as busy with their own classes. 

“Apologies Mr.Widogast, I was held up.” Yussa didn’t mention the lack of friends. He didn’t draw attention to fact that they were alone. Widogast’s painfully wide eyes and painfully stiff movements said that the man was already aware. 

Yussa could offer no comfort but his indifference. He swept into the lab and set his briefcase on a lab bench. A few rows away from the door and not in line with the arcane fume hood that he knew Widogast favored. 

“Do you mind if I listen to the radio? It keeps me sane when I’m grading papers.” Yussa did not think he could survive a few hours of the pained silence that had taken to following Widogast. And besides it was jazz hour and that always relaxed Yussa. Reminded him of Wentworth. 

Widogast was still hovering by the door. Looking like he very much did not want to fully enter the lab. He shook his head and opened his mouth, taking a few moments to remember to speak.

“N-no. It is fine.”

“Excellent. Well, call if you need me. Or if you don’t let me know when you’re done.”

Yussa didn’t wait for a reply, instead choosing to immediately sit down and look busy. Some of his students required a close eye when they requested a lab observer. Dangerous projects and students not as observant as they should be. But this was Widogast. The man had a perfect safety record for his lab block. He was always careful. Always cautious. Besides, given how jumpy Widogast had been the last few weeks it was probably safer for Yussa to give him space. 

So Yussa left him to it. Turning on his little transistor radio and letting himself fall into a rhythm of grading. An hour crawled by and dusk settled into night outside. He could hear Widogast rattling around his corner of the lab, occasionally muttering something to himself in Zimnian. Working well despite Yussa’s presence. Jazz hour ended and the voice of the evening news anchor filled the lab. Yussa grabbed another report and made a few cursory marks.  

“A representative of the the Soltryst Academy announced today that the research of Trent Ikathon would be released. This is after much debate on the ethics of the research, ultimately a committee from the Academy decided that Ikathon’s findings were too valuable to stay locked away. The representative stated that there was much to be learned from the findings and that they will be handled with the utmost care. This announcement has been met with loud protests from groups all over the Dwendalian Empire and beyond. Ikathon, once a prominent member of the Cerberus Assembly, was arrested seven years ago on charges of experimentation on humanoids. He is currently serving multiple life sentences without chance of parole. A member of the Cobalt Soul commented after the announcement-”

Yussa looked up from the report he was half grading. A noise had disturbed him from by the door.

Frumpkin was on his usual stool in the corner by the door. The familiar would sit there out of the way for hours as his master worked. Never in the way, always watching. The cat even had his own little lab coat that some enthusiastic undergrads had bought for him when Widogast was TAing the lab. Usually calm. Usually perfect.

But tonight something was different. The cat stood and was arching his back. Eyes wide, growling and hissing. 

That was the first sign that something was wrong. 

The second was the sound of breaking glass coming from the fume hood where he knew Widogast was working. Yussa cautiously set down his pen and made his way down the row of lab benches. There was a low humming building in the room, Yussa could feel it in his teeth. Hairs standing up on the back of his neck. He picked up the pace, turning the corner to pause for only a moment. 

And then he was lunging forward. 

He wrenched Widogast back from the hood by the man’s collar. Slamming his hand down on the emergency arcane dampeners the moment the man was clear. Yussa ignored the pounding in his ears and the adrenaline filling his veins. His eyes were fixed on the contents of the hood. Watching as the magic, a sickening gray burning in a deadly feedback loop, dimmed under the protection of the hood. He didn’t look away until he was sure the magic had consumed itself and a little past that. To be sure. His chest was heaving. That was incredibly dangerous. That was an experimental spell that Widogast had lost control over. It had nearly been deadly.  

“What were you-” Yussa’s anger died with his words at the sight of Caleb Widogast. The man’s face was absolutely blank, eyes wide and staring into nothing. He was clutching a hand to his chest. Yussa could see a growing red stain spreading from the palm. At first he thought that there was some effect from the chaotic magic. But a quick murmured diagnostic spell only came up with the deep cut on his palm. Yussa frowned and made to cancel the spell. At the first hand motion Widogast flinched back so violently Yussa lost his grip on the man’s collar and he crumbled to the ground. Eyes now shut tight, breath coming in too fast gasps. 

Yussa looked around the empty lab. They couldn’t stay in here. The hood had done its job but there was still the chance some of the magic had escaped into the air. Just waiting for a catalyst. And Caleb Widogast looked extremely reactive at the moment.

“Come on.” He pulled at the man’s elbow. Encouraging him to stand. “Mr.Widogast, we need to move.” There wasn’t a response. Yussa heaved. He was not a strong elf. He was old and he was tired. He dragged Widogast to his feet. Under the baggy clothes and lab coat he could feel how thin the man was. Yussa didn’t let go, there was no way the man could stand on his own. Yussa half led, half dragged Widogast out of the lab. 

Frumpkin was still on his stool, still following directions, but yowling in distress. Yussa pushed the door open.

“You too cat. Get out.” Frumpkin needed little urging. He jumped from his stool and darted out the door. Yussa paused only to hit the switches for the ventilation system before following the cat out into the hall. They made it three steps, the door slamming shut behind them, before Widogast’s knees buckled completely and they both crashed to the ground. Yussa felt sharp pin pricks in his thigh as Frumpkin clambered over him in an effort to get to shuddering and wheezing Widogast. The cat forced his way under the man’s arms so Widogast had no choice but to hug him. Then wiggled up further and began to roughly lick at Widogast’s face. 

Yussa was frozen, unsure of what to do or how to help.  

Sure there was some required training. Yussa ran a lab. That’s how he had known to cast the diagnostic. But that and some minor first aid was it. He’d never had to deal with anything like this. For the first time in many years Dr.Yussa Errenis felt far out of his depth. So he sat in the hallway. Waiting for the shaking to stop and the breathing to steady. Minutes passed.

A buzzing sound startled Yussa so badly he swore. A phone call. He patted at his pockets and belatedly remembered his coat was still in the lab. He wouldn’t be able to retrieve it until tomorrow when the air had cleared. If it wasn’t his phone then it must be- 

He listened for the next buzz and found the correct pocket. Gingerly removing the phone from the man’s sweater. Yussa looked at the caller ID. 

Beauregard

Yussa hit answer.

The woman was speaking before Yussa could even get a word out.

“Caleb? Thank fuck. Fjord called, said he heard some bad news on the radio. Wanted to make sure-”

“Um” Yussa cut her off. “This is Dr.Errenis?” He didn’t know how to explain. Fortunately Beauregard picked up on it quick judging by her swear.

“Is he alright?”

No. Caleb Widogast did not appear to be alright.

“Well, no he’s-”

She didn’t wait for him to finish. “Where are you?” 

“The lab. The transmutation lab. Arcane Research third floor.”

“Okay.  Okay, okay. I’ll be there in like 10 minutes.” It sounded like she was already running.

“I- wait-” Yussa called out desperately before Beauregard could hang up. 

“Yeah?”

“What. What should I do?” His question seemed to properly pause her.

“Is Frumpkin with him?”

“Yes, thats-”

“Good. I’m going to text Nott and Jester. They might get there before me. Just keep talking to him, something boring. It seems to help sometimes.”

“I- okay.”

The phone call cut out before Yussa could ask anything else. Not that he knew what to ask. Keep talking to him she said. Yussa didn’t know what to say. 

He ended up spewing up half a lecture on intro to somatics. Something both of them could have taught in their sleep. But it did seem to help a little. Widogast’s breathing slowed a fraction. His hand stopped twitching as violently and he buried his fingers into Frumpkin’s fur. The cat seemed to notice the change, leaving off the licking and instead tucking his head under the man’s chin. Aggressively purring. 

“-it is important to remember that casting intention is just as crucial as casting precision. If-”

There was the sound of a door slamming down the hall and the rapid squeak of sneakers on linoleum. Beauregard Lionett came surging into view, disheveled with a look of anxiety on her face. She didn’t slow her run until she had reached the three of them on the floor. She was sweaty and out of breath. Clenching her phone in one hand so hard she was shaking. It had taken her seven minutes to get here. 

“Aw fuck,” she hadn’t even looked at Yussa. focused entirely on Widogast. Taking in the blank eyes and the wheezing breaths. The shaking and the sallow face.The blood on the man’s hands and now on the cat. More gently than Yussa thought she was capable of, Beauregard eased herself onto the ground next to Widogast and wrapping an arm around skinny and shaking shoulders. She gently pulled the man up into a sitting position and shuffled them back until they were resting against the wall opposite the lab. Yussa followed at an awkward half crouch. 

“How long?” She still hadn’t looked at Yussa. All her intention on the man. But Widogast seemed to be non-verbal at the moment so she was probably talking to Yussa. He cleared his throat. 

“Maybe fifteen minutes.”’

“Did he puke?”

“No”

“Well that’s something.” She was rubbing small practiced circles on Widogast’s arm. “Nott and Jester should be here pretty soon.”

“Should I-” say something? Get something? Do something?

“Could you keep talking for a bit? Until I get my breath back?” She was soaked with sweat, her hair loose and plastered to her forehead. “Technical stuff is good. Gives him something to focus on.”

Yussa could do that. 

He picked up where he left off in the lecture. Filling the dim hallway with his dull presenting monotone. Beauregard kept rubbing the small circles, she sent a few text messages but other than that kept her eyes on Widogast’s face. Waiting. Minutes crawled by. Yussa’s throat felt dry. But he could see the contact and the words working. Slowly the tension left the man’s body and he slumped into his friend’s side. He blinked for what was possibly the first time in ten minutes. His breathing evened out a bit and became less shallow. 

“Beauregard?” His voice sounded absolutely wrecked.

“Yeah man.” Her’s sounded impossibly soft. “You know where you are?”

A small shake of the head. 

“Right outside your lab. 3rd floor of the Arcane Research building. The one Jester says looks like a sad dick.”

The little joke didn’t get a laugh from him, she barely managed a small smile. 

“Do you know what happened?”

Widogast’s eyes had fallen to the floor, still looking too far off. He gave a jerk of a nod.

“The broadcast. His-” Widogast’s voice trailed away. Beauregard kept rubbing small circles. 

“We don’t have to talk about it right now. Just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something else.” She shot Yussa a glance that he couldn’t read and did want to read anyway. “Fjord heard it on the news at work and called me to check in. Nott’s on her way over with Jester.”

No response to that. Beauregard continued rubbing circles. Yussa sat, unsure of what to do. Beauregard seemed to have regained her breath and had taken over the talking.

“I’m glad I was just leaving the gym and not all the way home. That would have a shitty run.” The student recreation center was just off campus and nearly a mile away from the research lab. Beauregard must have sprinted the entire way to get here as fast as she did. “I hope they my bag. I texted Fjord and Cad to pick it up but I’m not sure which bush I chucked it in.”

Yussa was very confused but didn’t interrupt the woman.

“I mean I can probably get it in the morning but Yash said it was going to rain and I don’t think Xenoth is gonna want soggy homework again.”

A door at the end of the hall, opposite from where Beauregard had come from, slammed open. Yussa looked up to see to three figures coming down the hall. The short and sturdy form of Jester just behind an even shorter form. Fjord brought up the rear. All of them looked out of breath. Beau held up a hand before they got too close. Jester and Fjord stopped short but the little figure moved in close. Yussa stood and took a few steps back to give them space. Light from the lab fell across green skin and yellow eyes flashed sending a glare at Yussa. He wasn’t sure who he expected Nott to be. But a little goblin girl seemed to fit. She wiggled in close not unlike the Fae familiar and tucked some of the man’s hair out of his eyes. 

“Hey Caleb?” The man closed his eyes at the touch and weakly brought his knees towards his chest. The goblin looked over at Beauregard. “Is he?...”

The woman shook her head. “In and out. He didn’t know where he was.”

Fjord kept his low voice barely above a whisper. 

“Do we know what triggered him?”

Yussa could feel three pairs of eyes on him.

“I think he heard the same report as you Fjord. Dr.Errenis talked to him until I could get here.” The radio was still on in the lab. Yussa could still hear it faintly through the wall.

Nott spat something crude in what might have been halfling but Yussa could feel the worrying suspicion lift off of him. Beauregard hadn’t stopped the small circles. Frumpkin was purring way on the man’s chest. Nott had pressed in on the other side. They seemed to be boxing Widogast in with familiarity. 

“Are you hurt anywhere Caleb?” Jester’s voice held a quaver. An alien expression of worry on her normally cheerful face. When Widogast didn’t respond Nott spoke up.

“He smells like blood.” The previous tension snapped back into place. 

“His palm.” Yussa throat was very dry. “He cut his palm. I- he might have broken a beaker. In the lab.”

Jester brushed past Yussa and set down a heavy looking bag. There was a peeling red duct tape cross on the side. She kneeled in front of Widogast, right in his line of sight. She didn’t touch him. 

“Hi.” It took the man a while but he slowly raised his eyes to meet her eyes. Her whole body sagged a little with obvious relief. “Hi Caleb.”

“Jester.”

“And Nott and Fjord and Beau too. Though you already knew about Beau. She’s been here for awhile. Yasha and Caduceus are on their way too. They needed to find Beau’s backpack and park Yasha’s car. Which was good idea. Me and Nott just pulled up on the curb. We nearly hit Fjord.” The whole time she was speaking she was methodically unpacking the first aid kit. Telegraphing movements, going slow and being deliberate. “Now, would it be alright if I look at your hand? I don’t have to heal it right now. I can just make sure it’s clean and bandage it up for tomorrow. Or we can wait for Caduceus to get here. But I do need to look at it, okay? Okay. Why don’t you hand Frumpkin to Beau. Oh boy, you guys are both going to need a bath.”

Her words were gentle and her actions practiced but she couldn’t help the wince when it became clear exactly how much blood there was. Matted into the familiar’s fur. Staining a too large portion of the man’s sweater and lab coat. How had Yussa missed that? He had known about the cut but had been too focused on Widogast’s mental state to do anything about it. There was a lot of blood.

“I could-” Yussa stepped forward. The incantation for prestidigitation on his lips fueled by the need to do at least something right. 

A firm hand landed on his shoulder stopping him before he could even start on the cantrip. Fjord’s eyes weren’t their usual calm and collected. Yussa could see how disheveled the half-orc was. Tension and worry down every line of his face. 

“If you could refrain from casting anything on Caleb it would be much appreciated.” 

Something in Fjord’s words and something behind them set a cold sensation of dread in Yussa’s stomach. The words of the broadcast filtered back into his head. Mingling with the memories of every flinch and avoidance of eye contact. Caleb Widogast’s inability to be alone in the same room as his advisor unless it was unavoidable. Soltryce standing out on a page of redacted text. Beauregard’s words in his office. ‘Deeply fucked up’ did not feel adequate.

Nobody was paying attention to Yussa’s dawning horror. There were things to do then and in the moment. 

Jester had Widogast’s injured hand cradled in her own. Gentle and slow she straightened the curled twitching fingers to reveal a dark and deep slash. Still bleeding sluggishly. 

“Caleb, is there anything you were working with that I should be worried about right now?”

“N-nein. No. S-sorry”

“You don’t need to apologize. So everything you were working with was clean, inert, and non-toxic?” Her voice was light and airy, her eyes were hard.

“J-ja.”

Jester peered at Yussa out of the corner of her eye.

“You said it was a broken beaker?” She asked him.

“Yes, I can’t recall if there was anything in it.” He had been too focused on the spell’s catastrophic deterioration.  

“That’s okay. Beau can I use the light on your phone? I need to look for any glass. Thanks. Caleb you tell me if you need me to stop for anything okay?”

The teifling was meticulous. She went over every millimeter of the cut and then changed the angle of the light and went over it again. She paused in the middle. 

“Nott can you sterilize some tweezers for me?”

The goblin looked loathed to leave her position but did so anyway. She scurried over to the medical bag and dug through it. She pulled tweezers from the bag, a flask from her pocket and turned to Beauregard. 

“Beau I need your lighter.”

“It’s in my bag.” The monk frowned, arms full of cat and Widogast.

“Caduceus and Yasha should be here in a few minutes” Fjord spoke up from beside Yussa. But Nott was looking at him. She came closer and beckoned him to lean down. She made sure her back was to Caleb and muttered a few arcane words. A shimmering hand appeared and took the tweezers. 

“Flame first and then Prestidigitation.” Fjord noticed what they were up to and edged in front. Not that Widogast was paying attention. He was watching Jester examine his hand with a detached look. Yussa cast as quietly as possible. Nott watched his hands the entire time. The moment he was done the tweezers whipped away to Jester. 

“Here you go Jester.”  

“Thank you Nott!” Jester plucked them out of the air. “Can you or Beau hold the light for me?”

“I got it.” The goblin gave Yussa a narrow eyed nod of thanks and was off. 

The next few minutes were quiet as Jester focused. Widogast, worryingly didn’t flinch as as the teifling poke and prodded, eventually pulling four shards of glass out of his hand. Just as she was finishing up there was the sound of footsteps from down the hall. 

“Caduceus, good timing! I need your eyes. See if I missed anything.” She took the light from Nott and shuffled over to make room. 

The firbolg patted Fjord on the shoulder as he walked past. Yussa got a smile that maybe wasn’t as calm as he had seen before.

“Good evening Dr.Errenis.” The firbolg didn’t wait for a reply. He was already kneeling next to Jester. Taking Widogast’s hand in his own. 

“Hey did you guys find my bag?” Beau stage whispered over Widogast’s head. 

“Yes. You threw it in a tree.” The pale woman spoke from Fjord’s shoulder.

“Sweet.” The monk somehow looked proud of that. “Thanks for grabbing it for me.”

“How on earth did you manage that?” Fjord was half laughing.

“I don’t know. I was in a hurry. Had to travel light.”

A level of confidence or comfort had settled over the group now that all of them were together. The knowledge that all of their little unit was within reach. Besides the clerics, nobody was paying direct attention to Widogast. There was still the side glances and careful positioning. It had been a well practiced shift. They had surrounded the man but were directing their conversation away to keep from crowding. Yussa felt out of place. Things were miles better then they were. Widogast was surrounded by friends who were much more competent at comforting him. But Yussa’s mind was full of a semester of flinches and no eye contact. He had done nothing but watch. He was doing nothing but watching now but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

“You got them all Jester, well done. Did we reach a consensus on healing?” The chatter faded as soon as  Caduceus spoke. The teifling gave a small shake of her head and ducked down slightly to get in Widogast’s line of sight. 

“Do you want us to heal your hand right now Caleb? Or we can do no magic. But I think this is too deep to go without stitches.” Widogast met her eyes but seemed unable to decide between the choices she was presenting. 

“Or” Caduceus spoke up. Hooking a finger in to a loop on the medical bag and pulling it towards him. “We can make that decision a little bit latter. Just bandage you up for now.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Right Caleb? Ja?” Jester was still ducked down.

“J-ja.”

“You’re just saying that because it was the last I said. Ja or nein?”

“Nein.”

“Wait. No, you’re not just saying it because I said it or no, you are saying it because.”

“Ja.”

Jester rocked back, the small smile on her face mirrored on that of Widogasts. The silly little joke finally breaking the blank mask of fear. 

“Well we’re gonna bandage up your hand now okay?”

“Ja.”

“Ja! You should get a smaller cut next time Caleb. I got some really cool glow in the dark bandaids in the med-pack.” She was already digging through her bag again, handing things to Caduceus.

“What?” Beauregard interrupted indignant. “You didn’t have those last week. You gave me the princess ones.”

“Glow in the dark bandaids are for emergencies only. Not for when you mess up trying to impress Yasha with parkour.”

The whole time the two were bickering, Caduceus was working in slow tandem with Jester. Packing the wound with gauze and wrapping clean white bandages around Widogast hand. Jester tied it off neatly. Both the clerics let go, allowing the man to draw his hand to his chest. Widogast still looked incredibly brittle, blood was dark on shirt and his hands and his lab coat. But he was present. The little group continued to chat around him without expectations of response. The man eventually turned to Beauregard and spoke in a low voice. 

“Can I have my cat back please?”

The woman grumbled but she handed the cat over, holding it up so it could clamber onto Widogast’s shoulders like a scarf. She wiped her hands on her pants.

“Jester wasn’t joking about the bath. Gross. You good to go man?” She got to her feet with a groan and a stretch and offered Widogast a hand. He took it after only a little hesitation. The shaking was worse as the man stood but Beauregard and Nott were on either side to steady him.

“Come on, lets go the fuck home.” Beauregard sounded tired, she looked around the hall. “Where’s your bag man?

Widogast looked around as well, he opened his mouth but had no answer. Yussa spoke up.

“It’s still in the lab I’m afraid. You won’t be able get it until tomorrow when the decontamination process has run its course.” All of Yussa’s stuff was in there as well. Breifcase, laptop, papers that were only half graded. Fortunately his car keys were in his pocket.

Everyone but Widogast was staring at Yussa. Fjord spoke up, voice full of concern. 

“Decontamination? That sounds serious Professor.”

It was serious. It had been dangerous. It had nearly been fatal. If Yussa hadn’t checked on Widogast when he did the man would not be standing here surrounded by friends.

“Oh, it’s just protocol for when a spell isn’t shut down correctly.” Technically true but Yussa was trying hard to keep his voice airy. “The only harm done was to Mr.Widogast’s palm there.”

Everyone seemed to accept that answer, except Widogast who had leaned almost imperceptibly towards his goblin friend. 

Caduceus was packing up the medical supplies. Jester had bounced ahead and was chatting to the pale woman and Fjord about stopping for ice cream on the way home. Beauregard and Nott were shepherding Widogast down the hall towards the exit. Yussa didn’t move to follow right away. A large gray hand settle on his shoulder. 

“Will you be alright getting home Dr.Errenis?” Caduceus Clay’s voice was low and calm. Yussa had to gather his thoughts for a moment. Widogast was fine, up and walking and surrounded by friends. 

“Hmmm? Oh, yes. I’ll be fine.” Caduceus nodded, smiled, and began to walk after his friends. First aid kit swung over one shoulder. Yussa had a thought. 

“Mr.Clay,”  the firbolg stopped and looked at him expectantly.  “Please let Mr.Widogast know he’s been granted an extension on his work should he need it.”

“Thank you,” there was a grave pause. “For everything tonight Dr.Errenis.”

And Caduceus turned, following after his friends. The door at the end of the hall opened and shut and Yussa was left in almost silence. The radio was still playing dimly through the wall. He rubbed a hand across his face and cast a quick spell to clean up the drops of blood that speckled the cold linoleum. There was doubtless more in the lab but there was nothing to be done about that tonight. Yussa locked the lab door and went home. 

 

Wentworth was reading in his favorite chair in the living room when Yussa entered. The goblin looked up.

“You’re home early. Thought you’d be a couple more hours at least. Lab finish up sooner than expected?”

His partner looked so calm and unworried sitting in his pajamas with a mug of floral smelling tea. Yussa felt the last few hours welling up. The words getting stuck in his throat.

“Are you alright?” Wentworth set down his book and tea and made to get up. Yussa waved a hand and moved to him instead, sitting down with a sigh. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. There was-” no way Yussa could put the revelation of the night into words. Not right now at least. Maybe in the morning. “There was an incident in the lab.”

Wentworth eyed him. Clearly knowing it wasn’t anything close to the full story but not pressing for it. 

“Was everyone else alright?” 

Yussa thought back to the long minutes of sharp fearful breathing. The violent flinch the moment Yussa made the gestures of a spell. The blood on the floor, on the cat, on the man’s hands. He thought back to the rush of worried faces and the quiet words that filled the entire hallway. 

“No, but they’re getting there.”  
  


 

Caleb Widogast walked across the stage at his graduation with flowers in his hair and a cat draped over his shoulders like scarf. His chaotic family could be heard over the rush of the crowd. And the hand that shook Yussa’s had a scar across the palm and a tremor that would never truly still. But as Yussa’s gaze met bright blue he could see only a fierce joy and a well built pride. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, just making some big old assumptions on the character of Yussa. But hey, I wanted to write a college au so here we are. 
> 
> All titles are from the song [You are Loved](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6Dd9wPxuV0) by Defiance, Ohio (again)


End file.
